


The most common question

by akmmka



Category: Emmerdale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 14:43:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10515831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akmmka/pseuds/akmmka
Summary: Why did Robert sleep with Rebecca?





	

**Author's Note:**

> As you will notice English isn't my native language. I hope you will be patient with me.

You can’t keep a secret in a small village. Somehow everyone knew about Robert and Rebecca and everyone was asking them self and each other the same thing:  
Why did Robert do it? 

 

They lived under the same roof, playing hide and seek not wanting to have that conversation. But even a game of hide and seek has to come to an end. 

 

“Shouldn’t I be the one avoiding you?” Aaron asks when he finds Robert in the barn. He hands him a sandwich. “You have to eat.” he continues. 

 

Robert takes the sandwich with trembling hands looking down immediately after, holding it with both hand, squeezing it hard. 

 

“Don’t kill it! I made it myself.” Aaron says with a hint of a laugh in his voice.  
“Why?”  
“It costs a lot less than buying one?”  
“No, I mean. Why did you come?”.  
“You know I love you, right?”  
“Why?” Robert whispers. Aaron ignores Roberts question. Looking over Roberts shoulder starring at the wall knowing that this might just be their last chance.  
“It feels like we are going in circles here. And everybody butting in doesn’t help. I really need to know why Robert. And the ‘I was drunk’ answer is no good.” 

 

Robert looks up, looking uncertain, opening his mouth and then closing it. His body tensing like he is trying to find the courage to answer the question everybody is dying to know the answer to. 

 

“Why did you do it?” Aaron asks quietly  
“I” he hesitates before he continues “was drunk.” He looks down again. His sandwich is now just a mess in a plastic bag. 

 

“It hurts a lot you know. You and Rebecca, it hurts and I don’t want to love you cause it hurts and I don’t want to leave you because I love you and I shouldn’t love you cause you hurt me and everybody says I should leave you. And why, why did you do that? I get that we argued but still. Do you hate me that much?”  
“I don’t hate you!” Roberts screaming answer makes Aaron jump.  
“Well, you got a funny way of showing it.”  
“I love you! I love you so much. When you were gone, I couldn’t cope. Everyone talked about you and how worried they were but they didn’t care about me did they? I’m so alone, I’m always so alone. People doesn’t like me, I don’t blame them, I just hurt people over and over and … “  
“So you wanted company?” Aaron asks trying to understand what Robert is rambling about.  
“I always mess things up. I couldn’t keep you safe, I couldn’t protect you. I outed you in prison and you had to pay and I had to pay. I had to pay too!”

 

Aaron looked at Robert. This was something new and he knew he was closer to the truth than ever. He hadn’t really bought the ‘I was drunk excuse’ or if it was that he didn’t want that to be the truth. He wasn’t sure himself of which. He just needed something that would explain it in a way for him to stay with Robert. He had questioned himself so many times if he should stay with Robert cause looking back who would of stayed. Everything he had been put through and still he stayed. He must be stupid. Stay focused Aaron, he said to himself. Stay focused. 

 

“Listen, I knew something was wrong when you and mum came to visit. I know you, just like you know me. We can look at each other and just know! And now, what I see don’t add up with what you say. I’m trying really hard here Robert. I love you! I love you so much and you have saved my life over and over again and I don’t want to let us go but you have to tell me the truth here. I need to know the truth to be able to move on. We can’t live together if I know you are hiding something.”  
“I don’t love Rebecca.”  
“Good. That is a start.”  
“I don’t want to be with her. I don’t even like her.”  
“But still… “  
“I, I’m so stupid and I destroy everything. Everything that is good in my life. You are the good in my life, you and Liv. And Chas said I couldn’t stay, she said I had to leave. It destroyed me. So now I have to leave. I have to hurt too it’s only fair.” 

 

He stood up. Walking towards the door.  
“I destroyed your life so it is only fair that I destroyed my life. But trust me I didn’t want you to get hurt in the process.” Robert said still with his back towards Aaron.

 

Aaron stood still. Watching him walking out through the door and his life into the bright sunlight. Out there it seemed like there wasn’t a care in the world. The sun, the birds, the trees and the flowers all promising the return of spring and new life. 

 

He ran, grabbing Roberts shoulders and turning him around rather roughly. Robert then looking at him, crouching, his eyes full with fear waiting for that hit that was unavoidable. 

 

“Did you do it to punish yourself?” Aaron felt his heart pounding faster and faster. Now it was him trembling as he lifted his hand holding on to Roberts elbow. Not hard just letting him know that he didn’t want to let him go. Hoping that a small touch would give Robert the courage to speak. 

 

“I need to be punished.”  
“You can’t take responsibility for my actions Robert! I hit Kasim! I did the drugs!”  
“I need to be punished. I didn’t enjoy it.” he said with a whisper.  
“Robert…” Aaron didn’t know what to say. He tried to process everything Robert had told him. Probably most of it unintentionally. “Let’s sit.”

 

Aaron pulled Robert with him back into the barn without letting go of Roberts elbow. He gently pushed him down. Robert just followed his movements not saying a word. 

 

Aaron took a deep breath.  
“Listen Robert. You know me, I don’t talk about stuff, right?” He looked at Robert waiting for his response. Robert nodded. “You don’t talk about stuff either, he continued.” Robert nodded again. “You are more about trying to get me to talk” Aaron said in a low voice suddenly realizing jet another way for Robert to look out for him. Also realizing that he hardly ever did the same for Robert. 

 

“You always encourage me to talk about everything, feelings and stuff. I’m not really comfortable talking about it thou. But if we are going to stay together we have to talk. Do you want to be with me? Don’t think, don’t question it, just answer from your heart.”  
“Yes.”  
“I want that too. The thing is I need to know the real reason. I have a whole village talking about us, guessing what is going on, deciding whether we should be together or not. I don’t cope well with that, I want to be a strong person whocan walk my own way and don’t care what people say but I’m not that person. I need to know the truth to be able to keep my head up. And I need to know for me. My family should have supported you Robert, you shouldn’t have had to feel that you were alone.”  
“I couldn’t sleep.” What he said came out of nowhere.  
“Neither could I.”  
“I missed you so much. It was so cold without you. I felt like I lost you all over again. Like you died you know, in the crash. It was like living in a nightmare all day and all night.”  
“I missed you too, so much. Your smell and your touch and just you being there all the time.” 

 

Robert looked at Aaron taking a deep breath. “I was drunk, that is the truth. I was drinking so I would suffer in the morning. And there was no one in my list, just business contacts and she was the best of all the worse, I just needed to talk to someone. I was going crazy being on my own, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, it hurt, I felt like I was dying right there in our bedroom” he became quiet, starring into space. 

 

Aaron touched his elbow encouraging him to continue.  
“She came and she was so understanding, saying you and me loved each other and I didn’t want to hear that. That was not the reason I called her, was it? And she was nice and I didn’t want nice so I.. “ he takes a deep breath “I flirted with her didn’t I, I kissed her, it was all me, I tried to seduce her, came on to her with all my smooth talk.”  
“Well you are good at that aren’t you” Aaron interrupted. Robert tensed in front of him like Aaron had given him a slap. Moving back, building up a distance. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have interrupted, don’t even try moving away from me.” He put his hand at Robert shoulder pushing him back down. “Sorry, continue.” He felt like he had stopped breathing, listening to Robert talking about it was worse that he had imagined, breathing out, relaxing his clenched fists. “Continue.”  
“And she gave in, didn’t she? I remember falling down to the bed, kissing her and then” he stopped talking looking up at Aaron. “Then” he became quiet again “then I woke up.”  
“So, you didn’t sleep with her?”  
“I don’t know.” Robert answers shrugging his shoulders. “I must of? I think I did, I don’t know for sure Aaron. I’m not trying to get away with it, I promise, I really don’t remember. I´m sorry, I don’t know.” he was crying now. Hugging himself. Rocking.  
Aaron moving in hugging him, trying to get him to calm down. Finally getting a hug back, all their tears mixing and Aaron moving back, his hand taking a gentle grip of Roberts cheek. 

 

“Look Robert, I love you, don’t do this to yourself again. We will argue again, don’t solve it by hurting yourself. Let’s go home to our house, where we live, together, cause we love each other.”  
“Just like that? It is to easy, I don’t deserve that. You can’t just let me get away with it.” Robert was talking faster and faster getting upset again.  
“Robert! Robert, listen to me! Sometimes you have to make it easy.”  
Aaron felt Roberts arms around him hugging him hard and whispering sorry over and over again. Aaron let himself engulf in the hug, never wanting to let go. 

 

“I have one more question” he asks on their way back home “Why have you put a piece of an old fence at our bedroom wall?”


End file.
